He is now a popular lecturer and lives -in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Tactic. An open and flexible mind is able to be agile and adjust on the fly. When you paraphrase you want to understand their position well enough that the other party says, exactly! You might need to paraphrase more than once to make sure you understand! Instead of insulting them back or treating them harshly, take the blow. All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something. If the answer is NO, we act while the subject is still talking! Dealing . They sound like nice people but are closer difficult people.Agree to your face, compliment you, etc.Bad mouth you behind your back, to your boss, co-workers, etc.Does not have the guts to tell you to your face.Most are good and wimpdom and it makes them difficult to detect.Do not like authority.Hate being told what to do.Want revenge. Using tactical communication effectively. One way to start out is by reading the book by Dr. George Thompson. These phrases communicate that their emotions are wrong. Having said this, the most important aspect of training and learning Verbal Judo is by practicing it in real life. "You are the worst ref" For some people, this is an easier way to learn as it gives you a real insight compared to merely reading about it. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Asked, rather than told to do something. I have learned to let people vent and then move them to what I need them to do. There were physical ones like Judo, Basketball and Soccer as well as academical ones like Math or Literature clubs. It wont seem natural at first. You approach some angry folks and you most naturally say, "Hey, calm down!" Maybe they're sitting there silently. You must sound sincere and in control. What's the matter?" After the girl named Tachibana delivered her speech, the club representatives walked up to the stage and introduced their clubs. Come here!" Seems like a very interesting book! Use in conjunction with empathySlide5 When to use Verbal Judo. in our dorm. Consider this verbal blunder. You want to have an idea of how an encounter will play out. The ancient samurai knew never to let an opponent pick the place of battle for then the sun would always be in your eyes! It is a great book and has already helped me with the tough conversations I have every day. The life work of George Thompson has become a force of its own through One example he was being accosted by a criminal with all kinds of names and he use the phrase "Well, I 'preciate that sir, but I need XXXX." That means playing it safe, surrounding yourself with sycophants, taking few responsibilities, and doing what other people tell you to do. Thompson. Offered options rather than threats. Learn new and interesting things. He states that all people want to be: Treated with dignity and respect. But deflect the internal damage by stripping the phrase you send back at them. The second step is to admit that it is being flung at you. The point is for you to improve your social status whether in the short or long-term, but is not to trick people to do your bidding. George Thompson goes into detail on these in his book Verbal Judo check it out here this book has lots of great tactics and stories from his perspective..Verbal Judo https://www.amazon.com/Verbal-Judo-Gentle-Persuasion-Updated/dp/0062107704/ref=asc_df_0062107704/?tag=hyprod-20\u0026linkCode=df0\u0026hvadid=312114711115\u0026hvpos=\u0026hvnetw=g\u0026hvrand=8546551822983511022\u0026hvpone=\u0026hvptwo=\u0026hvqmt=\u0026hvdev=c\u0026hvdvcmdl=\u0026hvlocint=\u0026hvlocphy=9059183\u0026hvtargid=pla-434106874271\u0026psc=1 On the third day after he arrived in the facility, one of the students confronted me. If your antagonist can upset you, he owns you at some level. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion (English Edition) at Amazon.nl. In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. z}0dFXM{,?d5(y]wYmE8{?]4p~bp=~"|dGilwu[>.npvt[K*.T\WT\X Use the language of reassurance-"Let me see if I understand your position," and then paraphrase-another VJ tactic!-back to them their meaning, as you see it, in your words! Repetition shows weakness, flexibility shows strength. Do Not Sell My Personal Information, If you need further help setting your homepage, check your browsers Help menu, Dr. George J. Thompson is the President and Founder of the Verbal Judo Institute, a tactical training and management firm now based in Auburn, NY. Because it flows naturally from our lips! "Go ahead call 'em," by the time they get here its on, he said as he glared at me. A common reoccurring trigger for violence was the perception of disrespect. What is Verbal Judo. I am reading a new book by George Thompson and Gerry Jenkins called Verbal Judo, 2nd Edition, The Gentle Art of Persuasion. w !1AQaq"2B #3Rbr Copyright 2023 Police1. So a lot of restraints took place after a student had threatened the life of another peer or staff, refused to be led away by security to isolation, and invited a challenge to be physically restrained. Three basic types of people in the world: Difficult people (people who ask why)Whats in it for me?When people ask why, jump into the question and use it as an opportunity.Shift from resisting to welcoming and appreciating difficult people. His book Verbal Judo, co-authored with Jerry B. Jenkins, is packed with valuable information to de-escalate difficult situations and turn them into win-win outcomes. Most importantly, it will teach you how to negotiate and speak with difficult . Contains both philosophical and tactical advice. Id like to think there is. Perhaps the most important of these is what we teach in TAC COM (Verbal Judo): put it best in the song Hypnotize: Never lose, never choose to, bruise crews who The words are not tactical for they have provided a warning and possibly precipitated a chase that would not have been necessary had you, instead, walked casually in his direction and once close said, "Excuse me. All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something. What do you care what they say? Instead, make people more reasonable by the way in which you handle them, tactically! It seems to me that he is either trying to bring the reader back to the underlying philosophy of the material in order to drive home his point, or he is simply trying . Five: What do you want me to do about it?Best answer: Start by explaining, I want you to listen to me and help me. For instance, simply saying Dont shoot! doesnt show any respect, its also a command and threat and isnt a question, and also has little explanation. Filled with stories and anecdotes from Georges law enforcement career. A customer cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing being no good. ), Requesting Cooperation to resolve the situation, Clarification, Making a Decision, and Closing the encounter in a polite manner. ". The first sentence is very dominant and encourages conflict, due to trying to force a solution. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. All people would rather be asked than told what to do. This is the essence of how verbal judo works, redirecting hostile energy directed towards you, and influencing an aggressor to think on your terms. I will write more about this in another post, for now here are some references on books that discuss verbal judo to various extents, one of them is written by myself. Apply Strip Phrases and Springboard techniques. Do not ignore the coach. Truly enlightened communication doesnt come naturally to anyone.Never use words that rise readily to your lips.If your antagonist can upset you, he owns you at some level.Step 1: admit crap is being flung.Step 2: acknowledge it is being flung at you. %" I believe the Notorious B.I.G. Ten: I am doing this for your own good.Best answer: Ask for specifics. c. Think about your goal. . Feel the need to even the score. Passed away in 2011 after year's battling throat cancer. verbal judo. hb```g`` Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. and manufacturers. This approach absorbs the other's tension and makes him feel your support. The three goals are: 1. Sort of reminds me of Bruce Lee, "Be Like Water", Keith! Instead, try to move with them and redirect their energy.In Verbal Judo, dont ignore or dismiss a questionthats the same as resisting it.Always attempt to answer, not avoid. (1993). The Music club also introduced themselves and listed some of the usable instruments. For a record of six months there were no threats or physical alterations in the dormitory. Daniel Ames, the Sanfo. When treated with disrespect, all people want to fight and get revenge. Also be aware of your pitch, pace (speed), and modulation (rhythm). Theyre the people who can make or break your control and authority. Background: Routine speeding stop; driver . All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. Using a combination of these phrases work well to defect the insults thrown at you. Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. In-Person Classes. Three: Because those are the rules.Best answer: Would you please tell me why this rule was created? You can also create your own strip phrases. Regardless of how big the staff member was, some students had come to see it as a badge of honor to be physically restrained by staff. Professional Software Developer. You need to develop increasingly sensitive radar to know how youre coming across while youre performing. Ugo is a psychotherapist and owner of Road 2 Resolutions a professional counseling private practice based in Tucson AZ. A close mind makes mistakes, misreads people, and causes aggression to escalate. To know and to act are one in the same.The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. Verbal Judo teaches you to redirect the energy of an uncooperative person rather than resisting . This is because most people understand examples easier than other explanations. He stayed with us for years. z\0"D.HE%*8x$ Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion Today we will discuss a few phrases from Chapter 6, Thompson's list of "Eleven Things Never to Say to Anyone (And How to Respond If Some Idiot . a. Right now Im obsessed with Flutter. The mailroom employees send all remittances and remittance advices to the cashier. Before I proceed, I want to state that the two names used in todays post are made up for obvious reasons, but the story is true. 24 0 obj <> endobj Most of the key points in Thompson's verbal judo approach apply equally to firefighters and other first responders. They lived for them. 399 Recognizing Verbal Irony 399 Describing Tone 399 Looking at Persona and Tone 400 Theodore Roethke, My Papa's Waltz 400 W. D. Ehrhart, Sins of the Father 401 Thomas Hardy, The Ruined Maid 402 W. H. Auden, The Unknown Citizen 403 Edmund Waller, Go, Lovely Rose 404 398 Contents xv Learn with flashcards, games, and more for free. Honestly, there is so much in Verbal Judo that I cant cover it all. Not only is there the matter they were upset about to begin with, but now they need to defend their reaction to you! We have to show respect to people at all times which is the golden rule. You can never take words back. Ignoring or dismissing a question is the same as resisting it. Thompson. Being more aware when antagonists are trying to upset me and not let myself get upset. Since 1984 over one million people have sat in Verbal Judo classes, and hundreds of thousands more have read the books, watched the videos, and listened to the audio versions of the principles and tactics of Verbal Judo. But apparently I see the issue differently than you do. As much as the participants protested with their words 100% of the participants administered high-voltage shocks. Instead, move with him and redirect his energy. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper . It is a process of getting people to transition from thinking with their reptilian brain to thinking with their pre frontal cortex. The use of these tactics puts the police officer in control of the conversation, . Part 1 of a 2-part series. I hope you enjoyed these last 5 posts on the book Verbal Judo. If you have any questions about the past 5 blog posts or want to discuss the book further please email me. What are the three great traits of a good police officer/communicator? Strip phrases are a deflector that strips the insult of its power. Thompson. 0 STRIP PHRASES . Hence, verbal judo is strictly a defense mechanism, what could be called parrying. Reduce your capacity for conflict and you will reduce stress. (Determination of appropriate action). 2. Verbal Judo, the Martial Art of the Mind and Mouth, Chapter 9 Review. Safety lies in knowledge. Night stick or baton.Six: deadly force. Instead we must empathize with that position while moving the person towards a beneficial outcome. Dont make the situation personal. Tactically, "May I chat with you" is far better, for not only have you picked the place to talk, but anything the subject says, other than yes or no-the question you asked-provides you with intelligence regarding his emotional and/or mental state. In these examples, actions, not words, make the difference. Its all well and good learning Verbal Judo, but putting it into practice is arguably more important. Your email address will not be published. 1. To this day, I believe that whenever therapeutic personnel engaged in restraints, it undermines trust in the therapeutic relationship, and overall the work we did with the population. Empathy.To see through the eyes of another.Empathy absorbs tension.If you cant empathize with people you dont stand a chance of getting them to listen to you.Only after empathizing can you help them see the consequences of what they are doing or what they are about to do. Mar 1, 2006. 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